የርቀት ፍቅር

The Love Forum (love, relationship) (የኔ ቆንጆ እንተዋወቅ :-)

የርቀት ፍቅር

Postby እየሩስ12 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 4:51 am

Hello Everyone,
There are a few things I would like to get your outlooks on; to understand somethings and to stop questioning myself. In short, the story goes like the following. I used to be best friends with a guy back in Ethiopia. We were very close and at times, even said we were brother and sister. It was a friendship where I said whatever I felt and he did the same too. People used to think of us as couples and that never bothered us because we just ignored it. Long story short, he was a friend that I loved dearly. Then I came to America and of course, he stayed there. Five years later, I find him on facebook and we began to talk agian. It didn't take me longer than two months to have feelings for him. So things changed between us. He told me how he felt about me and I did the same! Problem: I don't want to have a distance relationship. For a couple of months, we just continued on like that. But during that time, we made some strong promises. Just to mention, I never do such things. He was and still is a guy that I never doubt and have unfailing love for. But recently, reality hit me. I was talking with someone close to me and I had to realize that what we were doing wasn't ok because we had different lives. I am still not done with school and he isn't either. Where I want my life to head and my aim are different from his. We both want to pursue completely different things, that would have been ok if we weren't half the world away from each other. And on top of all of that, there are so many people in between. If I go for what my dream is, it won't be anytime soon that him and I will be together. We were both ok with that at first but when I think about it now, I don't even know what will come up tomorrow. So I told him that we should end it now than later. And it hurts to do that but I don't want to have to fold my promise later. So I just want to know, was it wrong to even start love in such distance? and was ending it because of lack of hope a wrong thing? Honest opinions. What would you have done? Does distance love even survive? are any of them possibly for benefit?
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Re: የርቀት ፍቅር

Postby ዳግማዊ ዋለልኝ » Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:25 am

እየሩስ12 wrote: .....but I don't want to.....fold my promise later.


"ቃሌን ማጠፍ" የምትለዋ ቀጥተኛ ትርጉምሽ አሪፍ ነች...ተመችታኛለች :lol: ...ቆይ እጠቀምበታለሁ :D :D :D
"እቺ ለቅሶ ከፍየል በላይ ነች"
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Re: የርቀት ፍቅር

Postby recho » Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:29 am

ዳግማዊ ዋለልኝ wrote:
እየሩስ12 wrote: .....but I don't want to.....fold my promise later.


"ቃሌን ማጠፍ" የምትለዋ ቀጥተኛ ትርጉምሽ አሪፍ ነች...ተመችታኛለች :lol: ...ቆይ እጠቀምበታለሁ :D :D :D
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: አመዳም .. ጥያቄውን ማንበብ አልቻልኩም ቅቅቅቅቅቅ መጣሁም እሙዬ እመለሳለሁ .. በዚህ ጉዳይ ዙሪያ ብዙ ማለት ይቻላል :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ዳጊ ወያኔው
"ሰነፍ በልቡ። አምላክ የለም ይላል በሥራቸው ረከሱ ጐስቈሉ በጎ ነገርን የሚሠራ የለም " መዝሙረ ዳዊት ምእራፍ 14:1
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Re: የርቀት ፍቅር

Postby ዳግማዊ ዋለልኝ » Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:44 am

recho ወሳኟ......እህታችን ጨንቋት አማክሩኝ ትላለች; አንቺ ትቀልጃለሽ :lol: በይ አሁን በደንብ አማክሪያት

ደህና እደሩ.....መልካም ዓርብ

recho wrote:
ዳግማዊ ዋለልኝ wrote:
እየሩስ12 wrote: .....but I don't want to.....fold my promise later.


"ቃሌን ማጠፍ" የምትለዋ ቀጥተኛ ትርጉምሽ አሪፍ ነች...ተመችታኛለች :lol: ...ቆይ እጠቀምበታለሁ :D :D :D
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: አመዳም .. ጥያቄውን ማንበብ አልቻልኩም ቅቅቅቅቅቅ መጣሁም እሙዬ እመለሳለሁ .. በዚህ ጉዳይ ዙሪያ ብዙ ማለት ይቻላል :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ዳጊ ወያኔው
"እቺ ለቅሶ ከፍየል በላይ ነች"
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Postby የቦግዪ » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:07 pm

One question, would you really end your "relationship' if we tell you to?? We have seen long distance relationships work out and fail. But I'm pretty sure that the success rate is better for Ethiopians than the others. Because you know we are somehow bound to somethings (culture, religion...). But it always depends on the couple. They always say the one abroad changes their mind. And sometimes the one staying there will change their mind first thinking the one abroad will change their mind eventually. You told us that you both are not ready to be together (class and stuff). So what's the point of breaking up? So that you guys can be with somebody else near? It's not like you're getting married with somebody else now or something, right? So why not wait till when you both are ready (finish whatever you guys started) and see if you can be together? And about the different goals, he's entitled to have his own life goals. Having a different life goal is not a reason for separation. The same holds for you. So to sum up, because I forgot the rest of the points you raised, if you really love the guy and that's the guy you want to be with for the rest of your life, wait and keep your promises. But remember, you've to be strong to survive the moments that will almost make you end the relationship. Chat/phone based relationships are somehow difficult (misunderstandings could happen). Handle those wisely. Or if you see no future with the guy, tell him (not through chat though) and stay friends, that's worth keeping.

But again, follow your heart don't let different ideas bias you. If it didn't work out for somebody else, it doesn't mean it won't work out for you.

Oh yeah, I am in a long distance relationship for like 4/5 years. We probably still need 2/3 years to be together. But somethings are at stake so we are waiting. Hope it works out.

Wish you the best.
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with gratitude

Postby እየሩስ12 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:14 pm

የቦግዪ wrote:One question, would you really end your "relationship' if we tell you to??


I wouldn't have but being abroad puts some real pressure. I am taking the risk of making him wait for me until situations become at least near possible for us to be together. And I know that is something so big to ask for.(I'm not generalizing but he is a guy, regardless of how much we are dedicated to our religion). What worries me is not my time but his because what if things don't work out between as after all the waiting? I would feel like I have made him waste his time when he could actually been able to establish a real relationship with someone that he can see and have beside him. I'm not saying I can handle it and he can't but it is a big burden for someone who is abroad because it feels like Im asking him to put his life on hold until we have a chance. Oh, one thing I want to mention, there are always people around him who are physically and in every way capable to be there for him but in my case, when he tells me a situation, all I can ever do is offer my opinion and NOT be there for him to support.
Finally, I really want to thank you for your honest resonse. In the situation I'm in, it really was a relief to hear that. I appreciate it:)
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Postby ክቡራን » Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:57 pm

Before scribbling my one cent worth advice, I have a serious question to ask you, are you seeing someone or intend to date in the near future? it seems to me you are a little bit confused , there is someone in your life you have met but not sure about him and yet you don’t want to feel guilty by losing your longtime friend where ever he is…Is that the case we are discussing here ?
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Postby ገደል » Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:59 pm

እየሩስ 12
የቦግዬ is right, unless you are involved with someone else, i don't see any valid reason to cut your relationship with your childhood loving friend. If you want genuine opinion, tell us the truth. Your reason which are distance and different life style, is simply baloney. Specially, in the age of multiple social medias, skycams……how can distance is an issue? Furthermore, if once in a while meeting in person is needed, Ethiopia is only few hours…may be a day… away from any corner of the world. Regarding life style, you are Ethiopian he is too…..so, what life style difference are you talking about. As additional reason you said…..”…what if things don't work out between as after all the wait?” My sister, this is another baloney.
Let me tell you something, if you breakup with the guy based on these synthetic or unsound reasons , I am telling you the guy who you once loved dearly, will be hurt a great deal.
You have every right to fall in-love with anyone of your choice. But, be honest to yourself as well as others involved. Good luck
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Postby የተሞናሞነው » Fri Nov 16, 2012 3:23 pm

እቱ

እውነተኛ ፍቅር...ንጹህና መለኮታዊ/አምላካዊ...የዋህ እንዲሁም ቅን ነው:: እንዲህ ብሆንስ ይህ ቢፈጠርስ አይልም አያወጣም አያወርድም....ምክርም አይጠይቅም:: እንዲህ ቢሆን...እንዲህ ቢፈጠር... እንዴትስ ያተርፋል ምንስ ያተርፋል ገሌ መሌ እያልሽ ምክር የምትጠይቂበት ከሆነ እሱ 'እውነተኛ ፍቅር' አይደለም:: እሱ ቢዝነስ ወይም ፖለቲካ ነው:: ለቢዝነስ ደግሞ እነ ሸምሱን ለፖለቲውም ፖለቲከኞችን ማማከር ይሻልሻል ይልሻል በፍቅር ተጠምቆ በፍቅር ዋኝቶ እየጠጣው ያደገው አሁንም በፍቅር የሚኖረው ልጅ ሞንሟናው :wink:
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Postby ክቡራን » Fri Nov 16, 2012 3:56 pm

ቦግዬ እንዴት ነው ነገሩ..? :D Sometime ago I read your comment saying that you have three kids by your man , and now you're indicating that you are in a long distance relationship for the last 4 -5 years and will keep this for the next 2 to 3 years , here it goes “”Oh yeah, I am in a long distance relationship for like 4/5 years. We probably still need 2/3 years to be together. But somethings are at stake so we are waiting. Hope it works out.”” Please correct me if I am wrong, I don’t want to labeled as የርጎ ዝንብ..(Yougurt fly..) :D
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Postby ሓየት11 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:44 pm

ቅቅቅ
ሙኒት ግን መቼ ነው በእንጉ ጽፈሽ የማነብሽ :lol: :lol: ናፈቀኝ ማርያምን ... :wink:
በጎጂ አክሰንት ... እንጉን ስታፈናጥሪው ሳያሳየኝ ... መዳኔያለም ከዋርካ አይነጥለኝ ... ስለት አለብኝ በውነት :lol:


የተሞናሞነው wrote:እቱ

እውነተኛ ፍቅር...ንጹህና መለኮታዊ/አምላካዊ...የዋህ እንዲሁም ቅን ነው:: እንዲህ ብሆንስ ይህ ቢፈጠርስ አይልም አያወጣም አያወርድም....ምክርም አይጠይቅም:: እንዲህ ቢሆን...እንዲህ ቢፈጠር... እንዴትስ ያተርፋል ምንስ ያተርፋል ገሌ መሌ እያልሽ ምክር የምትጠይቂበት ከሆነ እሱ 'እውነተኛ ፍቅር' አይደለም:: እሱ ቢዝነስ ወይም ፖለቲካ ነው:: ለቢዝነስ ደግሞ እነ ሸምሱን ለፖለቲውም ፖለቲከኞችን ማማከር ይሻልሻል ይልሻል በፍቅር ተጠምቆ በፍቅር ዋኝቶ እየጠጣው ያደገው አሁንም በፍቅር የሚኖረው ልጅ ሞንሟናው :wink:
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Postby የቦግዪ » Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:07 pm

እንዴ ቦግዬ እና የቦግዬን ምን አንድ አደረገው? ባለፈው ደሞ አንድ ሰው ቦይንግ ሲለኝ ነበር::

But having a long distance relationship doesn't prevent you from having babies, I think. So logically, if I were ቦግዬ, it's still possible to have 3 babies within 4/5 years... but I'm not. She's lucky.

ክቡራን wrote:ቦግዬ እንዴት ነው ነገሩ..? :D Sometime ago I read your comment saying that you have three kids by your man , and now you're indicating that you are in a long distance relationship for the last 4 -5 years and will keep this for the next 2 to 3 years , here it goes “”Oh yeah, I am in a long distance relationship for like 4/5 years. We probably still need 2/3 years to be together. But somethings are at stake so we are waiting. Hope it works out.”” Please correct me if I am wrong, I don’t want to labeled as የርጎ ዝንብ..(Yougurt fly..) :D
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Postby የተሞናሞነው » Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:23 pm

ስማ እንጂ...ይሄኔ በየድረ-ገጹ የኔን አርቲክሎች ስንቴ አንብበህ ይሆናል....በዋናው ስማችን :wink: ይህን ቆሎ የመሰለ ፊደል እያለኝ ለናንተ ደግሞ ለምን ሲባል ነው በላቲንኛ የምጽፈው :roll: አሁን እች ኢየሩስ ነኝ ነው ማን ነኝ ያለችው ስለ ፍቅር አማክሩኝ ያለችው በአማርኛ መጻፍ አቅቷት ነው በእንግሊዝኛ በዚህ ወጥቶ በዚህ ወርዶ እያለች የምታለቃቅሰው :roll: እና እንግሊዝኛየ ናፈቀህ :lol: አይ ሓየት...ባይ ዘ ዌይ በአማርኛ አጻጻፍህ እንዲሁም (ተስማማሁበትም አልተስማማሁበትም) በሀሳቦችህ ጥንካሬ አድናቂህ ነኝ...ጉራህና ቁጣህ መከራ ቢሆንም :wink: እስኪ አሁን ፌስ ቡክ ላይ የሆነች ችክ ጋር የደራ ወሬ ይዣለሁ....አትረብሸኝ አቦ :roll: እንግሊዝኛ ችክ ለመጥበስ ምን ይሰራል :roll:

ሓየት11 wrote:ቅቅቅ
ሙኒት ግን መቼ ነው በእንጉ ጽፈሽ የማነብሽ :lol: :lol: ናፈቀኝ ማርያምን ... :wink:
በጎጂ አክሰንት ... እንጉን ስታፈናጥሪው ሳያሳየኝ ... መዳኔያለም ከዋርካ አይነጥለኝ ... ስለት አለብኝ በውነት :lol:


የተሞናሞነው wrote:እቱ

እውነተኛ ፍቅር...ንጹህና መለኮታዊ/አምላካዊ...የዋህ እንዲሁም ቅን ነው:: እንዲህ ብሆንስ ይህ ቢፈጠርስ አይልም አያወጣም አያወርድም....ምክርም አይጠይቅም:: እንዲህ ቢሆን...እንዲህ ቢፈጠር... እንዴትስ ያተርፋል ምንስ ያተርፋል ገሌ መሌ እያልሽ ምክር የምትጠይቂበት ከሆነ እሱ 'እውነተኛ ፍቅር' አይደለም:: እሱ ቢዝነስ ወይም ፖለቲካ ነው:: ለቢዝነስ ደግሞ እነ ሸምሱን ለፖለቲውም ፖለቲከኞችን ማማከር ይሻልሻል ይልሻል በፍቅር ተጠምቆ በፍቅር ዋኝቶ እየጠጣው ያደገው አሁንም በፍቅር የሚኖረው ልጅ ሞንሟናው :wink:
የተሞናሞነው
ውሃ አጠጪ
ውሃ አጠጪ
 
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for all

Postby እየሩስ12 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:12 pm

ሰላም ለሁላችሁ,
ክቡራን,
ከለላ ፍቅር ይዞሻል ወይ አስበሻል ባልከው, ተሳስተሐል የኔ ወንድም. ምናልባት የጥያቀዪ ምክንያት አልገባህ ይሆናል ግን, ከመጀመሪያውም ነገሮች እረፍት አልሰጥ ብለውኝ ነው እንጂ አሁኑኑ ተነስቼ ልለውጥ የማስበው ነገር ስላለ አይደለም.. ያፈቀርኩት, አሁንም ቢሆን ያለው እሱ ብቻ ነው.
የተሞናመነው,
አማርኛ ችግር ሆኖብኝ አይደለም እንግሊዘኛ የምጠቀመው. ታይፕ ሲደረግ ጊዜ ስለሚፈጅ እንጂ... ወደ መልስ ልቀጥልና, ፍቅር መለኮታዊና የዋህ እንደሆነ ጠንቅቄ አውቃለው. Discussion board እኮ ለፖለቲካ እና ወቀሳ ብቻ አይደለም. በጣም ግን የሚገርመው, ለእኔ የፍቅርን ምንነት ነግረህ ሳታበቃ ስለ ችክ እና የደራ ወሬህ ታወራለህ. ለማንኛውም, አመሰግናለሁ ስለመልሳችሁ... ኢት/ያ አንድ ቀን ቢፈጅ ነው ላልከው, not sure who, እኔ አት/ያ በፈለኩበት ሰአት የሚያስኬድ ደሞዝ የለኝም..(I have to transition to English, my apologies to የተሞናመነው) skycam, skype, facebook, email, ect...of course those allow people to keep in touch. I don't understand why you all got the impression that I am doubting my love for him. Nope, let me clear the air. On my side, if I have to wait for 10-15 years, I would if it meant that we would be together, I am just worried that the burden becomes when I expect him to wait for me that long. Not necessarily 10 years, but I am just saying. Anyways, this was what I asked for. Different opinions and outlooks None affect my feelngs nor my relationship with him but all matter to the way I look at things and my decisions. Thank you for taking the time. (If any of you are bothered about using English, my apologies. Easier to type:)
Two Steps Forward and One step Back.
እየሩስ12
መንገደኛ
መንገደኛ
 
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Postby Konjit » Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:47 pm

ሓየት I dare you ይህን የተሞናሞነውን ምክር ሳትጨምር ሳትቀንስ በእንጉ ጻፍ :D :D ይሄን ሀሳብ እንዴት ነው እንግዲህ በእንጉ ሚገለጽው ለአማርኛ ብቻ የተፈቀዱ ቃላቶች ናቸው እኮ ሀሳቡን የገለጽበት :lol: አንተ ግን ክፉ ነህ :lol:
ሓየት11 wrote:ቅቅቅ
ሙኒት ግን መቼ ነው በእንጉ ጽፈሽ የማነብሽ :lol: :lol: ናፈቀኝ ማርያምን ... :wink:
በጎጂ አክሰንት ... እንጉን ስታፈናጥሪው ሳያሳየኝ ... መዳኔያለም ከዋርካ አይነጥለኝ ... ስለት አለብኝ በውነት :lol:


የተሞናሞነው wrote:እቱ

እውነተኛ ፍቅር...ንጹህና መለኮታዊ/አምላካዊ...የዋህ እንዲሁም ቅን ነው:: እንዲህ ብሆንስ ይህ ቢፈጠርስ አይልም አያወጣም አያወርድም....ምክርም አይጠይቅም:: እንዲህ ቢሆን...እንዲህ ቢፈጠር... እንዴትስ ያተርፋል ምንስ ያተርፋል ገሌ መሌ እያልሽ ምክር የምትጠይቂበት ከሆነ እሱ 'እውነተኛ ፍቅር' አይደለም:: እሱ ቢዝነስ ወይም ፖለቲካ ነው:: ለቢዝነስ ደግሞ እነ ሸምሱን ለፖለቲውም ፖለቲከኞችን ማማከር ይሻልሻል ይልሻል በፍቅር ተጠምቆ በፍቅር ዋኝቶ እየጠጣው ያደገው አሁንም በፍቅር የሚኖረው ልጅ ሞንሟናው :wink:
Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, then counting your blessings before they hatch. ~Ramona C.
Konjit
ኮትኳች
ኮትኳች
 
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